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Professional Moron’s Anger Management Lesson #1.
Never get on the wrong side of a penguin. Anger’s increasingly prevalent in contemporary life. We all know this. It’s not something we’ve just invented on a whim; all you need to do is have a walk...
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Bitter – The New (more violent) Twitter!
Expletives deleted. We feel Twitter spreads too much JOY into the world, so we propose a new social media tool called Bitter. “OMG! Like, what does it do, Professional Moron?!?!” Well, stupid readers,...
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The World’s Most Unstable Animals!
The dreaded wasp. Be careful! It’s spring (sort of) and you can bet your nostrils this will bring about the return of angry creatures who get a bit miffed if humans turn up, the misanthropic gits....
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In Contempt of Self-Service Checkouts…
As you can see, this unhappy chappy is most displeased with his Self-Service Checkout shopping experience! Okay, so yesterday we praised those contemporary vestibules of customer service – Self-Service...
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Exclusive New Veg: Celerberate!
Are you angry?! Good! Get ready to berate stuff! As we’ve discussed on this blog before, we don’t have anything against celery… but it is the most boring vegetable on Earth. Indeed, it’s so boring you...
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Evolutionary Theory: Why are scorpions so bloody angry?
Oh, geez, what are you angry about now?! The scorpion has temper tantrum issues. What is it with this species and anger? Hanging around with a scorpion must be a bloody nightmare – they’re always mere...
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Breaking News: Glowing Zelda Reviews Made Up By NOOBS!
NOOBIE SCUM! The video game industry was stunned by the arrival of the Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild in early March. Met with sweeping international critical acclaim, with many journalists...
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The Dating Diary of Dickhead Deirdre #1: Plumber Dave
Yes. Santa is off sick this week with malignant gout, so we “reached out” to one of our lonely hearts column daters. She uses the Professional Moron Dating Service (PMDS) that we occasionally run. She...
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How to be More AGGRESSIVE!
The Fist of Aggression! Are you a bloody sissy? Do you want to abscond social responsibilities such as politeness? Are you itching to throttle everyone in sight? Has biting your tongue become an...
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How to Punch Someone in the Face
The punch. At Professional Moron, we don’t condone violence. Well, not all of it. But sometimes a timely punch to the face is a timely thing to do. As such, today we’re taking a look at how to make a...
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Agony Aunt: “You made me put the toilet seat down & you will pay!”
An artist’s impression of an angry man. Last week, we detailed the horrors of a lady’s struggle to get her husband to put the toilet seat down. This week, the husband in question has responded angrily...
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Whiplash: A Casual Film Romp About Drumming
Where’s the whip? Here’s what we class as a modern classic. From 2014, it’s a visceral drumming epic about… the drums. And jazz. Plus, shouting! That sort of stuff. Whiplash Director Damien Chazelle...
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Screaming at Work: Managing Your Employees’ Vocal Exclamations
Phyllis was angry that Dave stole her sandwich from the office fridge. It’s natural for some of your employees to become pent up with rage. This can unleash itself with high-pitched outbursts such as...
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Agony Aunt: “Wife keeps throwing my belongings out the window!”
Nice flats! Perfect to chuck stuff out of! There’s that famous relationship trope. No, that’s not wondering if your husband is a giant lizard! It’s when the human male does something disgusting and...
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Agony Aunt: “Throwmance—my husband’s new take on romance”
Romance isn’t dead. It’s just evolving. As this week’s beleaguered wife has discovered, thanks to her husbands pioneering efforts with “throwmance”. It’s important to remember love isn’t something to...
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Angry Andrew’s Angry Architecture Ltd. [Sponsored Post]
Nothing says “professionalism!” more than having a furious architect designing a building in a complete and utter rage. Enter Angry Andrew’s Angry Architecture Ltd. Established in 2007, over the last...
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Angry Andrew’s Angry Piano Lessons Ltd. [Sponsored Post]
For the Whiplash drumming experience of the piano lesson world, sign on up to Angry Andrew’s Angry Piano Lessons Ltd. Over the course of many delightful sessions with me (Andrew), a piano teaching...
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Book of da Month #2: The Gift of Anger by Arun Gandhi
Anger is an energy and all that. A very angry colleague of ours leant this book to Mr. Wapojif, clearly as she wants him to be angrier. The Gift of Anger: And Other Lessons From My Grandfather Mahatma...
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